We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
