I heard we made out
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
