My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
