wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
