I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
