You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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