If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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