'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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