summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
