My Higher Power is John Stamos
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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