...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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