if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
