I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she looked like the before picture.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
