I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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