Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
