If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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