Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize