i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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