Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
