My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
