He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
