I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
