I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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