go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize