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  I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.

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• Next time you use big words, try and use one that makes sense. The use of legitimately in this text in no way reinforces the statement. And those of you that want to say I'm "The word police" or "Grammar Nazi" can play a nice quiet game of hide and go fuck yourselves. Have a nice day, and fuck off.

  Submitted by ttesroD on Oct 22, 10 at 8:45pm

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• It was all downhill after Full House got cancelled.

  Submitted by uAllSuck on Oct 22, 10 at 7:29pm

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• ttesroD, you must at least agree that it's better that op used legitimately instead of the now common "legitly". I'm glad to see people use real words, not bastard short hand.

  Submitted by Valkyrie on Oct 22, 10 at 11:01pm

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  • You make a valid point

    Submitted by ttesroD on Oct 23, 10 at 5:40pm

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• Were you honest....did you tell her it was really dandruff?

  Submitted by klangford on Oct 22, 10 at 6:11pm

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• I love that the OP thinks the word "legitimately" makes us believe him... Full of shit...

  Submitted by joshryan4424 on Oct 22, 10 at 7:17pm

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• Trying to?

  Submitted by keezingpenguin on Oct 22, 10 at 6:40pm

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• Why do people care so much if it's true or not. Jeez, buzz killingtons.

  Submitted by aMFb on Oct 23, 10 at 10:00am

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• So in a lawfully recognized manner, you woke up to a girl snorting coke off you dick? I don't think you lawfully allowed that to happen seeing as you weren't awake to consent for that to happen. Therefore, the use of the word "legitimate" was improperly used.

  Submitted by NYSE on Oct 22, 10 at 11:00pm

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• Fuk yesss!!!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 22, 10 at 3:42pm

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• Wow..dick insuffulation...is there no shame lol

  Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 23, 10 at 7:21am

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• Not only does it not make sense in this context, it also just sounds awkward. How do you legitimately wake up?

  Submitted by Sneelok on Oct 22, 10 at 9:19pm

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• No. No you didn't.

  Submitted by funkwalter on Oct 22, 10 at 7:09pm

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• She was TRYING TO but his dick was probably too small. Not such a good morning after all.

  Submitted by Howbot on Oct 22, 10 at 9:46pm

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• I wanna try it with u lol

  Submitted by James2869 on Oct 23, 10 at 12:13am

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• This is so awesome, I want to be you

  Submitted by PerfectHaze on Oct 22, 10 at 5:01pm

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• Agree wit pissed off dude below me

  Submitted by treefitty13 on Oct 23, 10 at 11:41am

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• That's a win!

  Submitted by angrypirate on Oct 22, 10 at 5:22pm

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• Bullcrap liar

  Submitted by queezyweezay on Oct 23, 10 at 4:58pm

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• You're a liar. Why do you want to go through life being a lying liar who lies about things that are lies in the first place...a ligitamate lie from a ligitamate liar. Ligitamate

  Submitted by takinAshit on Oct 24, 10 at 3:15pm

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• Sure it wasn't crabs..... Her nose must have been itchy.

  Submitted by huami on Oct 22, 10 at 9:55pm

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• Stupid and fake

  Submitted by JJdoggie on Oct 23, 10 at 10:19pm

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• Bitches now in days

  Submitted by christheblack on Oct 22, 10 at 3:50pm

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• Dude, you ARE a fuckin grammar Nazi. Legitimately definetely works in this sentence. If you think otherwise, then you're the dumbest self-proclaimed grammar Nazi ever. The sentence's truthfulness is questionable though.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 22, 10 at 9:06pm

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  • Think about this for just a second. He legitimately woke up to a girl trying to snort coke off his dick. How do you illegitimately wake up to a girl snorting coke off your dick? It's like saying I legitimately took a dump, which still makes no sense whatsoever, but neither does illegitimately taking a dump. How would someone even pull off waking up illegitimately? Think before you speak Anonymous.

    Submitted by ttesroD on Oct 23, 10 at 5:43pm

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    • This shit is hilarious!

      Submitted by AreYouShittinMe on Oct 23, 10 at 8:31pm

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• Favorite tfln evvveerrr!

  Submitted by princess21 on Oct 22, 10 at 6:09pm

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  • The only reason you like this is because it involves a dick.

    Submitted by ttesroD on Oct 22, 10 at 8:43pm

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    • whats wrong with that?

      Submitted by BAMFCS66 on Oct 28, 10 at 6:06pm

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  • princess, people like you need to die from cock overdose

    Submitted by erk123 on Oct 23, 10 at 3:15am

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• TtesroD, you are a butthurt bitch, find a hobby that isn't confined to calling people out on their grammar and enjoy the humor of the website.

  Submitted by fukame on Oct 24, 10 at 12:59pm

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  • Uh-huh...and your opinion matters to me...why?

    Submitted by ttesroD on Oct 24, 10 at 6:41pm

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• it was probably a short line being how legitamately small your dick is.

  Submitted by reply_ on Oct 24, 10 at 4:00am

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• Fake or not...way to share

  Submitted by bmoney24 on Jan 12, 13 at 12:42am

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