So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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