Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
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