K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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