Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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