was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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