I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize