i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Randomize
