I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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