i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
