Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize