The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
