I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
