to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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