She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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