I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Too much gin, very little bucket
my being single is dangerous.
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A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
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Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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