she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
