i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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