I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize