If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
