3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
jump out the window naked night went bad
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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