But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
