I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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