You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
