you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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