At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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