And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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