Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
that may or may not have been my penis.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
