So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
