I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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