I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
