there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He shit in the fireplace
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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