I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
