Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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