I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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