In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
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obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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