i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
