is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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