i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
