I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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