I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
ugly people sure do ruin things
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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