Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize